It's going to be cloudy and rainy today. That's how it was that day. It always feels right.
I think about you daily, I sometimes feel guilty that it isn't more, but I also feel relieved. I talk about you more in conversation than I did before. I hadn't realized it'd been 7 years until I opened up this blog. It feels like 2 or 3 maybe, but not 7. In the 7 years since you've been gone, I've done and experienced so much. I hate thinking about how many things you never experienced. I'm glad you were fearless (with many exceptions) while you were here. I always wonder how the experiences you never had would have shaped you.
Nakato is the first place I got Jake to eat sushi at, and we go back when we can. I can talk about you the most when we're there. It feels easier, but even Nakato has changed since we used to go there. Everything has changed.
I have less to say here year after year, but that's because I'm healing. I think. I've talked to a lot of people about you, and how your death impacted me and changed the way I act and think. It did a lot to me and for me. My life is good. Overall, I'm better than I used to be. I don't know if it's just time, or other factors that have changed me and helped me be better, but I'm getting there. I don't think that I'll ever be back to 100%, I don't think that's an issue. I don't think being 100% is what I want or actually need in life. Like I've said before, I just want to be happy.
I wonder what you would've actually majored in when you went to college. I also wonder how much of your homework I would've ended up doing. I like to think you would've stuck with wrestling somehow, but you would've been good at so many jobs. I could see you in so many roles.
I miss you, Steeler. I miss the life you should’ve been having this entire time. I’ll love you forever.
